I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
