Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Randomize
