New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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