Little spoons don't ask big questions
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
