So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
