And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
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