he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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