you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
