I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
How many fucks given?
0.12846
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
