i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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