Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize