I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
