Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize