how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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