So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
