Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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