Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
