We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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