Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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