"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
