my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
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