"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
