you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
