no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
