As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
