Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
