Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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