Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
