i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize