My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
So many bounce houses so little time
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
