he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
