All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize