they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Randomize