so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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