I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
