i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
