Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
