maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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