Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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