Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
