Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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