got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
