woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
My cat gives me a boner
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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