Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
