I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I intend to get homeless drunk
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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