Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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