i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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