the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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