My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
