drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
