Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
