I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize