I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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