two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
