Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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