I'm eating all of the evidence.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
