I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
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