There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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