Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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