hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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