gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
