is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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