I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
