i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
